I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When are your genitals available?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
