when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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