my phone needs a breathalizer
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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