tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
