I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
