Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
