I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
