just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You work out of a Hotel?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
