i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
