Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
