Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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