the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
