its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
