hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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