I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
