well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
