A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
