had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
