don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
