There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Can Purell be used as lube?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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