i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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