he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
