come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
