I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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