so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
