Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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