I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
