In the future we'll all be gay
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
