Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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