fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
