Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
