She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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