Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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