You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
