and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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