LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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