i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
