I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
