Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
