Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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