wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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