Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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