I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
