I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
