My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
