I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
