Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
