guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
