Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
