we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
