im about as happy as oj after his trial
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
