yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
either way he was missing a nipple.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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