Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
