you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
