wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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