So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
