Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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