her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
