Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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