I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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