well you can't waste a boner
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
