i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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