You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
