So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
