So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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