Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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