did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
