I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
