People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have feelings that need drinking.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
