I'm really into asian looking animals
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
