Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
